Called to Create

I wrestled a lot with God in terms of the jobs I end up with. I’d be honest here and say that somehow, I always end up saying, “God, this is not where I want to be.”

For years, I’ve been trying to find a job that would finally cure the incessant itch within. And so, there’s a few scratching here and there but they only gave temporary relief. At times, the scratching gets too hard; it burned.

Some of the people around me shook their heads and raised their brows on the career decisions I have made. I was all over, they said. I didn’t have a solid goal, they added.

I can no longer count the times my eyes welled up as I questioned myself, “What do you really want?” My only sure answer to that has always been, “A wife.” But then there’s always the follow-up question, “Okay aside from that, what?”

I really didn’t know or I did, I just didn’t want to acknowledge it. It’s impossible. I could not afford it. It’s not practical. I’m not skilled enough.

“Blink response,” a friend nudged, “What do you want to do?”

“I want to create,” I surprised myself.

So there, I think I said it. It was an artisan itch. I dreamed of doing things with my hands – an artwork, an accessory, a card, a poster, a skirt.  That’s really what I wanted to do. That was my calling and God did confirm it to me.

Quite frankly, none of the jobs I had matched it. The thing though is that I looked at them the wrong way. Instead of looking at them as a diving platform that would eventually launch me into the sea, I saw them as a locked room that suffocated me. And so when I felt like running out of breath, I’d leave the room and find another. I didn’t see that probably, the money I’m making there is what will make me afford the supplies or workshops I need. On a sadder note, I forgot that God allowed me to have those jobs. For a while, I forgot that He is sovereign and that He has reasons. I forgot that He can give a promise yet say, “But in the meantime, while you wait…”

Today, I’m three months fresh into a new job. It’s a desk job and I only get to color form fields and spreadsheets but God told me to embrace it. And now that I’ve learned to view this job as a platform, I am just excited to see how God will use it to meet my calling. For starters, I get off work early so I have spare time for arts and crafts. I also get a salary that’s decent enough to buy me the supplies I need and hey, I even get to blog about it! 🙂

I’ll end this entry with a paragraph from an article on Incite to Inspire. It spoke to my core. I hope it blesses you too!

God has put in us so many seeds of purpose. He desires to use us through different vehicles whether it’s art, music, media, corporate or healthcare. There are some who started walking in their calling years before they realized it. Some were great orators even though they didn’t know God would call them to preach His word. The places we move to or away from; the ministries we transition into or our of; everything works for our good despite the discomfort, the anxiety, the fear, the doubt, the answered and unanswered questions, the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent, and misunderstood….through it all He works and everything He said we will accomplish will come to pass.

Second Coming

At Sunday Service yesterday, our pastor used the verses above to talk to us about the Lord’s second coming.

I admit that despite my faith, sometimes I can’t help but picture the end of times with fear. Thankfully, today’s preaching gave me a new perspective.

Our pastor gave three adjectives to describe how the second coming of the Lord would be. Let me share them with you.

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.” Revelation 19:11

“At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds,from one end of the heavens to the other. ” Matthew 24:30-31

“And among the lampstands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest.” Rev 1:13

He will return and when He does, the whole world will see His glory. His glory will manifest greatly and will be witnessed to its fullest.

“Joyous? Really?” I questioned in my head. “It’s the end of the world. It’s JUDGEMENT DAY. That doesn’t really paint a happy picture.”

And then the pastor pointed to Revelation 19:11:
“…With justice, he judges and makes war.”

He continued by saying that if you already received Jesus as your Lord and Savior then JUDGEMENT is a good word. JUDGEMENT is a joyful word. Why? Because your JUDGEMENT took place 2,000 years ago. You’re already justified.

“God made him who has no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”2 Corinthians 5:21

“…He will rule them with an iron scepter. He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.” Revelation 19:15-16

“But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last forever and ever, and righteousness will be the sceptor of your kingdom.” Hebrews 1:8

On that day, people will see and know who has VICTORY over all things; who the true owner of everything is; who the TRUE LORD is.

Glorious. Joyous. Victorious. Three positive adjectives to describe how it will be like when He comes. And now that we know what is to come, what do we do? How do we respond? Our pastor suggests three things as well.

1. Have a sense of anticipation; not fear. With all the stories that we hear and read, most of us think that situations are only going to get worse as it comes near but no, our pastor argues that they are going to get a lot better.

2. Have a sense of urgency; for He will come at a time nobody knows.

“So you must be ready, the son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” Matthew 24:44

“Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.” Mark 13:33

As you anticipate His coming, be in the business of becoming a witness. Reach out to people. Share the gospel. Introduce people to Jesus. You see, the judgement of believers are different from those who are not.

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed.” Romans 1:16-17

3. Have a sense of worship.

Bow down to His feet. Raise your hands up. Please Him. Glorify Him. He’s great and glorious. Give Him what is due Him.
 
 
If you used to picture the second coming with fear just like me, I hope that after reading this, you’re now imagining it differently. And oh, let me leave you with a song from MercyMe aptly titled “I can only imagine”. 🙂

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE – MercyMe

 

Craft Stuff

I was supposed to tidy up my closet last night when I got sidetracked by my crafting stuff. I realized I haven’t been doing as much lately and that they’ve been resting in the box for a while now. I wish I could report that I was able to physically craft something but no, I crafted an idea instead.

I thought of sharing with you some of the things that I have and use so, I took their photos.

 

1. Washi Tapes

I love washi tapes! The things that you can do with them are endless. Kimberly Sneed shares 100 ways to use them and  Pinterest also offers thousands of inspirations.

Personally, I made cards with them, used them to prettify my gadgets, and decorated blank notebook covers with them. I got my first 2 rolls from Hey Kessy, an online craft shop based in the Philippines, at Php75 each. They make their own designs so you can get washi from them that you won’t find elsewhere.

The rest were purchased by my aunt in the UK. They came in bundles of 3 and 6. I forgot how much they cost exactly but I’m certain they were cheaper than the ones available locally.

 

2. Strings

Look up string crafts in Pinterest and you’ll be surprised by the number of projects you can do. Apartment Therapy also listed down 5 DIY string crafts that are too awesome for words!

As for me, I love braids and I will forever be in love with friendship bracelets!

I buy strings from Wellmanson’s, a crafts shop located in Quiapo, Manila. That place has almost everything a crafter will need – beads, strings, gold chains, silver chains, tools, packaging, stamps, all sorts of paper, etc. The best part about it is that the prices are so low. If you go there with Php500, I’m telling you, you’re off to a shopping spree!

 

3. Dye

This is probably the cheapest and most useful stuff a crafter can have. There are a lot of things you can spruce up with these babies. I personally use them on  clothes that I already got bored with so I can wear them a new way.

Check out Martha Stewart’s 20 Dye Projects  and go to Favecrafts’ Tie Dye Techniques to get you started.

You can easily purchase dyes from your local bookstore. Here in the Philippines, it’s sold at Php5-Php6 per sachet.

 

4. Mini Round Nose Pliers

We organized a mini bazaar at my former office in 2013. I sold handmade jewelry there and did a lot of metal twisting in the course of it so, I wouldn’t have survived without those mini nose pliers. I believe it’s a must have for any jeweler!

I got my mini nose pliers from Wellmanson’s as well at Php150 each.

 

5. Precision Cutter and a pair of Scissors

Need I explain? I don’t know if you’ll agree with me, but I think crafting involves a lot of cutting. So, you really have to invest in a reliable pair of scissors! The precision cutter, on one hand, I use mostly for my paper cutting projects.

I bought the precision cutter at SM Department store for more or less Php200. The pair of scissors, I got separately from National Bookstore. Talent is a Korean brand, I think. 🙂

 

6. Stained by Sharpie

If you like to doodle or draw on cloth, you better have this. They are markers made especially for textile. I used them on some of my cotton shirts, on denim and on a pair of sneakers. Read more about them here.

They’re not yet available in the Philippines so my aunt bought them for me in the UK.

 

7. Metal Stamping Kit

I just had it this April and really haven’t done anything with it yet except for practice stamping on an old Mrs.Fields tin box. I’m really excited to make jewelry though but I’m still trying to find a good metal blanks supplier here.

If you like personalized accessories, then you gotta have this! You can also use it on leather. 🙂

My Impress Art Stamping Kit was purchased in the UK too. My aunt ordered it from CJ Beaders and it costs around £55.

 

The list ends here. I hope you enjoyed it somehow and hey, maybe you can share your craft stuff too! Leave a link if you do so. 🙂

Liebster Award Nomination

Just this week, I came across a blogger who I could totally identify myself with. Christian, check. Asian, check. Loves Type, check. Loves pretty things, check. So, I followed her around. I followed her on wordpress, bloglovin’, and instagram. Today, I got giddy because she nominated me for the Liebster Award. Thank you, Elle of  HeyJayel.com!

Nope, I won’t be getting any trophy or I won’t be giving any thank you speeches on stage when I win. According to the Liebster Awards website (it’s in Spanish so you may want to use google translate if you don’t understand the language), it’s actually a chain. It provides bloggers, especially new ones, the opportunity to expand their network and connect with other people in the blogosphere. Lovely, isn’t it?

Now, here are the rules I got tagged with.

• Post the award on your blog
• Thank the blogger who presented the award to you and link back to their blog
• Share 11 things about yourself
• Answer the 11 questions given to you by the person that nominated you
• Nominate 11 bloggers who have less than 200 followers
• Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer
• Notify your nominees by posting your nomination on their blog.

And here are a few more things that I got from the Liebster Awards site:

* The nominees become winners when they respond to the questions given them and nominate other blogs immediately.

* The Liebster Award Icon should be visible on your blog as a widget. It is  recommended that you use the pink logo first and if you win again, the green logo.

Now, onto some Rorie Trivia.

11 Things About Me

1. I am a Broadcast Communication graduate currently working as a Process and Policy Specialist for a company’s Finance Department.

2. I was .01 away from graduating as Magna Cum Laude. Forgive me for blowing my own horn. It’s just one of those “almost there but didn’t quite make it” experiences that I have.Then again, there’s a reason for everything. 🙂

3. I have been conceptualizing my wedding since I was 18 and had changed my theme and motif three times already since then.

4. My ultimate dream is to become a wife.

5. My boyfriend and sister say I am highly empathic.

6. I love patterns and prints. I particularly love aztec and ethnic prints.

7. I believe that Bacon, Jollibee’s Chickenjoy and Chocolate Chip Cookies are served in heaven.

8. I participated as an extra in two local commercials already. My back appeared in a noodle commercial and my hand in a Mineral Water commercial. There, I feel famous. Haha.

9. I have 4 credits on IMDb. That’s because I used to work for a Commercial/TV/Film post production company.

10. I don’t wear high-heeled shoes. Well okay, only if it’s super necessary. I’m the sneakers and sandals kind of girl.

11. I think I might be a dabbler.

11 Questions from Elle

1. What do you like most about your hometown?

I like that it’s a laid back place. You wake up everyday, able to breathe in fresh air and get on the day without feeling the need to hurry. I like it best though because my family’s there.

2. Which song best describes your life right now?

C.S. Lewis Song by Brooke Fraser. “If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,I can only conclude that I was not made for here.”

3.  What is your favourite late night/ midnight snack?

Chocolate Chip Cookies and Doritos.

4. What is your weirdest quirk?

I’m not sure if it’s weird but I fold my lips a lot even if I’m not nervous.

5. Which superhero/Disney princess did you want to be when you were younger?

I wanted to be Belle of Beauty and the Beast. No profound reason there; I just wanted to be pretty.

6. Do you have a catchphrase? If yes what is it?

How you doin’? Wait, no, that’s Joey’s.

I don’t think I have one really but I use the infinitive phrase “to be perfectly honest” quite a lot. Also, when you talk to me, expect to hear a lot of adverbs like honestly, eventually, primarily,etc.

7. What’s the funniest/weirdest nickname ever given to you?

“Ngipin” which means “tooth” in Filipino. I had an accident when I was a kid, I lost HALF of each of my two front teeth. Our school principal, thus, referred to me as “Ngipin”. I didn’t find it funny at all when I was a kid.

8. Tell me one thing that people don’t know about you?

If I tell you then I would have to kill you. Kidding. I just stole that line from Jamie Sullivan.

When I was kid I got really obsessed with the canadian boyband, “The Moffatts”. I spent most of my allowance buying their posters which I plastered on my bedroom wall. One summer, I had chicken pox and had red splotches all over my face. I felt so ugly that I’d cover my face whenever I’m in the room. Why? I didn’t want The Moffatts to see me. Haha. I was that imaginative.

9. Has something happened to you that you didn’t believe would ever happen to you?

I grew up in a very strict, catholic family and now I am a born again Christian. I can say it’s one of the biggest (and best) surprises of my life.

10. If you could call yourself another name, what would you name yourself?

Kulay. It’s the Filipino word for “color” and it’s going to be the name of my future child. Haha.

11. Who do you admire most in the whole world?

Mushiness aside, my mother. She is the most selfless person I know.

———–

Okay, I get to let others join in the fun now!

Here are my nominees:

Liana – Coffee Talks with Him

Jassy – Healthy Egg

Sheila – Hipster and Cookies

H.Evans – Thoughts of H.Evans

Hanejua – Hanejua’s Blog

I’m fairly new so I only have five. Here are my 11 questions for them (explanations are optional):

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up (opening your eyes and reaching for the alarm clock given)?

2. What is one thing that you didn’t believe before that you believe now?

3. What do you think is at the end of a rainbow?

4. What is one thing you wish you can do but can’t?

5. If you were a kind of shoe, what would you be?

6. If you can claim to be the author of a currently published book, what book would it be?

7. What is your comfort food?

8. What movie made you cry the most?

9. If you can have your own country, what would you name it?

10. What reality show would you willingly star in?

11. What are you thankful for today?

 

There you have it. I’m taking off now. Time for others to experience the fun! 😀

Shameless plug.

This is going to be really quick.

Call me a late bloomer, I won’t mind. I’ve been seeing the bloglovin’ button since I can’t remember when but it was only today that I actually clicked one and discovered the awesome thing that it is. BLOG HOPPING MADE EASY!

Since I have been blogging rather consistently these past few days and well, I think I intend to keep it that way for long, I enlisted my site at bloglovin’ today. If you have an account there and you feel like it, maybe you can follow me! 🙂

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

If it happens to be your first time here, HI! I hope you don’t click the close button and skedaddle on.

Kingdom Rock.

For 2 and a half years, I went on a volunteering hiatus.

Back in my old church, I actively served in two ministries (administrative support and creative communications). Upon transfer to my current church, however, I found an excuse not to involve myself as much. I want to get settled first. I want to observe first. My new job’s taking too much of my time. I am tired. I want to spend more time praying about it.  The list just went on.

God did reprimand me a lot of times because honestly, I made time and wasn’t too tired for other non-church activities.  In one of the many times that He called my attention to it, I tried to respond. So I signed up and auditioned for the Music Ministry. I got pumped when I passed the audition but got a bit discouraged when nobody contacted me after. The church then was undergoing some major changes in terms of staffing so, perhaps, somewhere in the transition, they missed out on the new volunteers. I saw what could have caused them to forget but instead of approaching them and following up, I found another excuse to bum around.

This year, God spoke to me about serving in the ministry again. At the same time, He started revealing things about what He has blessed my hands with and what He wants me to do about it.

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” -1 Peter 4:10

On the 3rd week of February, I took a Spiritual Gifts Assessment Test and I got “Craftsmanship” as my topmost gifting. The same week, I signed up for the Production Design Ministry.

The Production Design Ministry basically is in charge of stage/set designs, props and other visual aids  for services and other church activities. According to our Ministry Head, we help the church draw in people that way. We create things that are attractive and we make them relevant.

This April, I was able to participate in making a “KINGDOM ROCK” set for Vacation Bible School (which starts today!).  It was physically tiring but it was truly, truly rewarding.

And despite working late hours, the team’s energy was so consistent. Everybody’s enjoying and having fun. God’s grace was just so evident.

I feel very blessed to have joined and helped. I saw how God generously gives spiritual gifts. I am just in awe of the talent and creativity that I witnessed!

I have a few more photos which I wish to share but before that, look at your hands. What is in them? What will you do with them?

My recommendation is that you glorify the Lord with them.

 

 

2013 things.

I’m still pretty bothered about what happened last night but don’t worry, I won’t give you another word-heavy post on that today.

I thought I haven’t really posted about some of the crafty, DIY things I do so let me share with you a sort of rundown of the things I did in 2013. Fingers crossed,  I don’t bore you.

 

1. I made paper flowers and paper curtains for a luau party.

2. I washified my planner, the toothpicks for my beef wrap and other things that I do not have a photo of.

3. I cut shirts and jeans, sharpied on and dyed them.

4. I made my own YAKULT ice popsicle.

5. I did some paper cutting.

6. Lastly, I designed a booth and handicrafts for LBR Philcrafts for their Manila FAME exhibit.

So there, short and sweet. I hope you’re not yawning! 🙂

Mothers and Children.

My heart ached tonight. This is going to be a lengthy post so please bear with me.

Living in a condominium space with a single “screened” window and no air conditioning unit, I pretty much expected the heat of summer even at night. But after going up the 6th floor (our floor) using the stairs, I needed some cold air so, I went up the roof deck and stayed there for an hour.

From the roof deck, you have to use the stairs to get the 12th floor then take the elevator from there (or take the stairs all the way if you feel like it!). So, I took the stairs, got to 12th floor lobby and in my peripheral, saw a crying little girl in pink pajamas pass by. She was crying so loud that it made me curious. So I followed her. Initially, I thought an adult was walking before her. The adult was probably  just walking too fast that he/she already made a left turn so I couldn’t see him/her. The kid turned left and I did too and to my surprise, the kid was not following anybody. The little girl continued to cry and I continued to follow her from a certain distance. As we are about to reach another corner and make another left turn, I went near hear, held her hand and asked her where she lived. She was so tiny; she probably was about 2 years old and still couldn’t speak so she just looked at me and continued crying. That was the first time I got a clear sight of her face. She was a pretty girl but her eyes were swollen, probably from all the crying. She has what seemed like chocolate stain over her face and a fresh wound on her upper lip. She smelled of both poo and pee; and was soaked in both sweat and pee.

We’ve covered almost the whole floor already; the crying was so loud, but not a single door was opening and not one person is responding. Then came this woman, walking towards us. Enthusiastically, I asked, “Kilala nyo po sya?” (Do you know her?) Unfortunately, she shook her head and told me she hasn’t a clue who the kid was.  I told her about how I found the kid and then asked her if she knew of any neighbors who had kids. She recalled one and so, we approached  that neighbor. Unfortunately again, the little girl wasn’t hers. By this time, I was already carrying the little girl and she’s stopped crying.

Jean, the first woman I saw and asked, decided to join me in accompanying the child. We decided to go down and take the kid to the security guards. We thought the might be familiar with the kid and know who her parents are or where she’s staying.

While in the elevator, Jean and I were so caught up in our wondering that somebody in the elevator heard us and told us that she knew where the kid lives and who her mother is. She said the kid’s mother was her client and that the kid lived on the 9th floor. She also mentioned that she just passed by their unit and saw that the door was open.

Jean and I decided to alight at the 9th floor and take the kid to their unit. When we got there, the door was wide open. We knocked and knocked and knocked and probably spent some good 10 minutes knocking. We didn’t get any reply. There also wasn’t any sort of movement in the unit. From the doorstep, we can see that the TV was on but nobody’s watching. We didn’t dare enter the unit as we do not want to be charged with anything illegal.

Instead, we got into the elevator again and headed to where the security guards were. When we got there, we saw this little boy (around 5 years old) who is without any piece of clothing on playing with toy cars. Dazzled and confused, I told the stationed guard about the little girl. Unfortunately a third time, the guard was fairly new and wasn’t familiar with either the little boy or little girl. My gut feel was that they are siblings but it was hard to confirm since the little boy didn’t really like answering questions. After a few minutes though the little girl started interacting with the little boy and seeing how they were, we knew they were related. The guard said the little boy was there since 5PM. Another resident added that he was on the elevator with the two kids around that time. He said the boy alighted but the girl stayed. That was probably why she ended up on the 12th floor! He also mentioned that the little girl was still neat that time. I saw her at  around 7:30PM so, the poor little girl already has been crying and wandering for two and a half hours already!

We tried asking the little boy again. We asked her where his mother went. He said, “Sa malayo.” (Somewhere far.) The guard said that earlier, the boy answered, “Lumayas.” (She runaway.) Looking into his innocent eyes, my heart  broke. He was just there playing like nothing’s wrong and the tiny little girl in my arms just wanted to be carried and be hugged and be spoken to. She was a chatty little girl and she smiled a lot. She mumbled and smiled like nothing’s wrong.

WHAT WRONG THING DID THESE KIDS DO FOR THEM TO BE LEFT ALONE LIKE THAT? WHAT WAS THEIR MOTHER THINKING? WHAT IMPORTANT THING IS SHE DEALING WITH THAT SHE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LEAVE THEM? I was screaming questions in my head.

Another security guard (a guard who knew the kids) arrived and decided that he would take the kids to their unit and stay with them until the mother arrives.

I went back to my unit feeling really bothered. A part of me was angry, a part of me was hopeful, so, I took  time to pray.

Around 10pm, my boyfriend came by to visit and I told him about what happened. I asked him to go with me to the 9th floor to check. When we got there, the door was already closed. I felt relieved somehow. “Their mother’s home,” I thought. We went to the security guards to ask about what happened. The guard said he left the kids because he had tasks to attend to. He said that he couldn’t tell if the mother was there already so, we got up the 9th floor again with him to check. He knocked a couple of times but there was no answer. He said that if the knob turns, most likely the mother’s not home yet. The knob turned and the door opened. The kids were there -asleep with no mother. There went another heartbreak.

The security guard added that this wasn’t the first time it happened. He said that the building admin already talked to the mother about it but she just responded with a chuckle. Nobody really knows where she goes and why she leaves her kids.

I would like to think that she had valid reasons. Maybe she’s working. Maybe she had an emergency. But even so, is it that hard to entrust your kids to a relative or a nanny, say even, the security personnel while you’re away for a few hours? Why would you leave a 2 year old and a 5 year old without supervision? Whatever rational she had, it was really challenging to make sense of. She’s a mother. Mothers don’t just leave their kids alone like that.

You see, I am surrounded with a lot of mothers. I have my mom, my grandmom, my aunties and my mom friends. All of them, I know would sacrifice anything and everything for their children. My mom gave up her personal dreams for us. I have a friend who is probably the most hands on mom I have ever met. Recently, another friend left her job so she can spend more time with her daughter. I admire these people so much. Their lives breathe sense into the word SELFELESS.

And then there’s the mother of these kids from the 9th floor. I am in no position to say that she does not care or that she does not love her children. Probably, there are things that’s getting the best of her thus, caring for and loving her children are resting on the backseat. I really do pray that she gets to her senses, that she gets rebuked, that she gets enlightened and that her heart gets awakened.

If you are reading this and you are mom, you may be going through tough times but please do not give up on your children. Be with and for them as much as you can. Care for them. Love them. Treasure them. More than them being your own, They are precious to the Lord.

 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 18:10

“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. “- Mark 10:13–16

 

Character Sketch.

In my first semester of college, I took an introductory Creative Writing Class. My teacher was this lean, boyish, short-haired chinita who comes to class in a plain shirt and jeans. The best adjective I can think of to describe her teaching method is  “swabe” (filipino slang for smooth). She gets across her points in an authoritative yet totally chill kind of way.

I also loved her exercises. One day, she brought a white T-shirt to class, hung it in front and asked us to write a short story out of it. “Who do you think would wear this? Why would he/she wear this? What was/he she doing when he/she was wearing this? When was he/she wearing this? Where?” she nudged. I couldn’t remember what I was able to come up with anymore but I hope it wasn’t that bad. Haha.

I think I also got the habit of people watching from her. We were on the topic of character sketching, when she talked about observing people wherever we are. Character Sketching is basically the creation of a character – assigning a face, features, habits, job, hobby, marital status, superpowers, what have you to a name. She said that observing was good practice in developing a character. By examining the external, you may actually draw conclusions about what a person does or how a person is.

I can still remember the example that she gave. She said that when you are in line for coffee at Starbucks, observe the person before you. Look at her hand when she pays for her drink. Is it rough? Look at her hair. Is it neat or does it look like it has been tousled? What kind of clothes is she wearing? Is she in an office attire? When she turns and faces your way, look at her face. Does she have smooth skin? Does she look tired? Does she look happy? How does she speak? Will she say thank you? If her hand’s rough, her hair’s untidy, looks tired, has wrinkled skin and in an office attire, then perhaps she’s a working mom who does physical things at home like wash clothes. She balances a lot on her plate that’s why she looks tired. She is that tired that she doesn’t feel like smiling and thanking the person on the counter.

Did you see how a character was drawn out from that? See the picture painted? Made me think of myself. Not really in a vain kind of way. Just you know, what if somebody observes me the same way? What kind of person would that observer think I am? As a Christian, that matters a lot to me. Will that person see the joy and love of the Lord in me?

This long recollection of that Character Sketching lesson only reminds me to be careful of the way I live – the way I speak, the way I act, the way I respond, the way I present myself to others. To be seen in the likeness of God is no easy feat but I believe that If I make it a point to always focus in Him, it may just come naturally. Hopefully and by God’s grace, I display a pretty picture.

How about you? How do you think other people see you?

 

My Easter.

It’s Easter Sunday today and I woke up to smell of my father’s lasagna. It’s not a normal meal even for a chef’s daughter. My father cooking such or simply my father cooking means there’s something special about today.

So, on an empty (and growling) stomach, I indulged myself in the sentimentality of today’s celebration.

As a kid, I remember Easter being such a happy time because I can finally laugh, be loud, eat meat, and watch regular programs on TV again. Growing up, I can say that I looked forward to Easter still for the same reasons; until the year 2010 when I already had a good sense of it. That year, I celebrated with an understanding of the cross and the process of Jesus bearing it, dying and resurrecting. That year, I was fully aware of the GIFT that what Jesus went through was.

How I saw it as a loving gift is something that I wish to share today – my own Easter if you’d allow me to put it that way.

Below is my testimony which I wrote in 2010 as part of the requirements for completing Training for Victory, a 10-day discipleship class. My hope is that you will be encouraged by it. And if you are just like me, I pray that you realize that Someone up there values you more than anybody else in the world does. People can shower you with words, time, affection and gifts but only One can die so you may live.

A couple of years back, I was Rorie the sorority girl, the social drinker, the girl who tried to smoke for the sake of bragging, the girl who followed the suit of her non-Christian friends for the sake of belongingness, the girl who caused her Christian boyfriend to regress. 

I was that Rorie – that Rorie who would try and do almost anything to keep her friends, her boyfriend. I would drink, club and smoke for my sisters in the sorority. I fed the weakness of my boyfriend just so I can have him by. I was that Rorie – that Rorie who always wanted to fit somewhere, who found security in having people close. My friends and my boyfriend defined my being. My happiness and sadness depended on them (mostly on him). Take them out of my life or just even place them afar and I’m doomed.

That was who and how I was until God led me to that one place where I could truly belong and find security – in His arms.

Right after I had my thesis bound, I was sent home to Laguna – far from all of my friends in Diliman and my boyfriend. I was literally at home most days. I had no money for transportation to Manila. I did not have enough money to call people on a regular basis. After years of having them so close, I felt like I was on exile when I got home. I would cry everyday because I really miss them, especially my boyfriend. There was no place more secure than with his company and in his embrace. Initially, we would regularly communicate via SMS until he went on a one-month Christian camp in Visayas and I could not tell you enough how alone I felt. When he got back from camp, he broke up with me telling me that even though he loved me, he had to do it for Him. He told me it was a command from Him that he cannot just ignore.

 I was devastated. He was the love of my life, my security blanket and God took him away from me. I was so tempted to get angry at God. I felt as if He’s taking all the people that I love away from me. He wanted me to be alone.

There I was confused about what to do after college; cannot even get out of the house because I did not have resources; and ALONE. I was tempted but I also wanted to hear from Him. If He could talk to my boyfriend and give Him a command, I also dared Him to talk to me and explain. And so I did. Everyday, I would read a chapter of the bible although I was just reading it for the sake of finding a line that would give me something to the effect of a command that tells me “tell your boyfriend that he needs to go back to you”. But He didn’t give me such. Instead He gave me the series “God the Father Revealed”.

 After a month of seeming isolation, I got accepted in IBM and moved back to Manila. I decided to attend VCF QC again since I’ve been casually attending the services back in college.

It was the last installment of the “God the Father Revealed” series. Worship was incredible. I felt every word pierce through, touch and consume the whole of me all at the same time. But preaching was more incredible; it really led me to tears. The main verses were:

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:9-11

The preaching described how God is a father who wants the best for His children. How you can have access to him anytime because of what Christ has done for us in the cross; how he is not just a God who is able to give us all our needs, give us His best but He’s a God who is willing. He is so willing He even gave us His only begotten son. He is so willing that Jesus died for all our sins. That is how much He loves us, He loves me. That is how He is as a Father. To us, to me who is undeserving – Jesus died on the cross. Right then and there I felt God speak to me and tell me, “Rorie, isn’t that the kind of Love you need? Isn’t that the kind of security you want? Rorie, I’m here and I’m able and willing to give you those and I will never, ever leave. I will never part from you. You don’t have to do anything for me to accept you, that’s how much I love you.”

 And I’ve never felt so safe and secure and loved. I didn’t know the people sitting beside me. I was a stranger inside the UP Film Institute (venue of the service). Technically, I was still alone with no company but I did not feel it at all. I knew, I was sure that I have Him.

 Came Altar Call, I raised my hand and rededicated my life to Him. I made the decision to surrender my life again to Him.

 Presently, I’m still physically alone most of the time. I would commute to and from Makati-Quezon City alone everyday. During days off, I would usually be alone in my room. But despite that, I have never felt so secure. I always felt that I was in good company. God has been so faithful to me. Now, while He remains as my bestfriend (all around Guy actually – father, friend, partner), He’s been blessing me with the company of other people as well – a small group from VCF Malate, a small group from VCF QC, Victory Weekend Friends, Training for Victory Friends and a renewed friendship with my ex-boyfriend.

 Truly with Him in my life, I could not ask for and want more. His saving love is more than enough.

—————

To date, I am back in a relationship with the ex-boyfriend I referred to in my testimony (after 3 years of being apart) . I can only attest that God has the best intentions. That He is a Father who gives the best gifts. That He allows some things to happen so we could let go of the good/better things that we have settled with and receive the best from Him.